Meh.

I'm just a big ol ball of pulsating hate these days. Just like my coffee- extra bitter. For pretty much no reason it seems. Work is ok, no family dramas, weather is starting to cool off and I hate the whole fucking world. It isn't even fertility related..I actually got some good cuddle time in yesterday with a 21 day old newborn. My coworker's wife brought in their baby to see me especially since he was born on my birthday! He was so little and sqwooshee! Still had that fresh baked smell. I actually had a better day after that. I love babies, through all these years it has never bothered me to be around them. Interacting with babies sort of gives me a little hope and I'd hate to cut myself off from something so wonderful. I also made the choice to stop seeing a counselor for the time being. I want to go back during pregnancy or if we get keep getting BFNs. I know I need to be able to talk with a neutral party while I don't have the option of medication during treatments and pregnancy. I think I might just be feeling a general malaise..the weather changing, a lull in our workload. I think once we get closer to the middle of October and really get started on the next cycle things will perk up.