Aww...seriously thanks you guys! I just want you to know I would totally cut a bitch for any of you. It gets better though..are you ready? She's having twins. Yeah. Now on one hand I'm am genuinely happy for her. After all the dr appointments, monthly disappointments and multiple miscarriages she is finally Living The Dream. But could she do it elsewhere maybe? I'm not sure what this is I'm feeling today..I think its jealousy and shame. I didn't think I was capable of feeling resentful I guess. Not towards a fellow infertile, I thought I was above that- same team and all right? And she was surprisingly considerate about it. We were talking about how she's gonna have to buy 2 of everything and she stopped and was like do you mind that I'm talking about this so much? I said no, this is totally your day- you've earned it. And she has. All pity parties were totally held in private and off the clock. I think more I felt like she should have maybe just told a few select people..in light of the fact that she's had several miscarriages just this year. I'm worried for her. I did joke with her a bit that she has set the bar pretty high for me now..can't really top twins! Of course we all want to get that BFP right on the first try but that's just not realistic all the time. But at least it won't be totally INMYFACE since they are moving her out of our facility since she is active duty and we have a "high stress environment". Only ok for pregnant civilians.
I just finished up 5 days of BCP's and start the letr.ozole today..I'm trying so hard not to be OMFG practically pregnant (unrealistic) and keep a cool demeanor (active fantasy life on the inside). I'm not going to lie..when the trigger shot gets here I'm going to squeal a bit. Thank god the sperm tanks don't get delivered to the house, I'd probably try to include it in a family portrait.
In short- I'm a mess. I can't believe a medical professional thinks I'm mature enough to have children. Once its out of the oven, too late I touched it! no backsies!
2 comments:
Twins. Of course. Isn't that just peachy.
Just so you know, when you get knocked up, I won't be a bit jealous :) (knocking on wood).
Thanks Chickenpig, you always make me smile so in lieu of jealousy you can make fun of any pregnancy weight I gain..if they don't have a take a wall out to get me to the delivery room I'm just not doing something right.
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