Alone again, naturally

Well he's gone. Deployment 2012 started Friday morning when I dropped him off at the DCC* about 0830. I went grocery shopping right after then went home and put some stew in the crockpot and did abou 9 loads of laundry (mostly linens). The first few days and weeks aren't that bad really, you get so used to them being at work for long hours or short training trips so you can almost convince yourself that's what is going on at first. Then you hit your groove and everything is smoothe: you work, you come home, chores, dinner, tv..it's your choice! No compromise about what to eat or watch. I once ate sushi every night for 2 weeks because when Husband's home I never get it. I can read all night long in bed without anyone bitching about the light being on at 3 am. These few weeks are actually enjoyable IF you let them be and you should! Then comes the down swing..You miss him so bad it hurts. Everything pisses you off because you have to do EVERYTHING yourself. Tantrums are frequent. Bitchiness abounds. And then one day you wake up and realize, hey he'll be home soon! Followed quickly by: I haven't done any chores beyond basic housework in weeks, I haven't shaved my legs since the night before he left and there's no food in the house since I've eaten out pretty much ever other night for the last month. Homecoming outfits must be planned and shopped for. Hair, manicure and pedicure appointments must be made. And then finally you wait in a hangar for a plane to touch down and of course your spouse will always be the last guy off the plane..and it's over! You made it, you survived another deployment. Some experiences may vary, if you sat at home the whole time crying about how bad your life is..well yeah, it will suck worse for you. nobody is having a good time but how you choose to spend your time is up to you.


So that's that. On the baby side, we finally got to hear the heartbeat! It took him forever to find it, I started to panic and get upset so when he did find it I still wasn't very calm and didn't get to bask in it like I hoped. Then it turned into a full fledged panic attack- the Dr ended up giving me a low dose xan.ax because once the panic train has pulled out of the station for me there is no stopping. Then I felt worse for being an overreacting spaz. I think it was a lot of things that had been piling up and it taking 5 minutes to find the heartbeat just did me in. But in the end all that matters is we got to hear it, it was nice and strong! Ooh..gender reveal on Feb 18!






*DCC- Deployment Control Center, where all deploying troops gather to drop their bags off, get copies of orders, get issued any extra equipment or weapons ect. Its one stop shopping for outbound troops. Spouses and such aren't allowed access to the building so there is a lot of PDA in the parking lot.